We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
