i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
