taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
