He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize