roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
