can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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