never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
