i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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