he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
