why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
