You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
