ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
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This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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