My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
