i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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