I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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