just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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