This girl is more easily done than said...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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