I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
