matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
