You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
