Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
