I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you win again, gameday.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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