This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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