I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
