hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You are the jesus of drinking
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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