what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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