The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize