So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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