...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
