we're chasing vodka with high fives
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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