You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
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My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
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Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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