are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
