WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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