This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
