so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
