he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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