U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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