is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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