It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
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Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
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How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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