oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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