Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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