white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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