yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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