i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
