9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
