Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
