"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize