Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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