I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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