So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
try to milk me bitch
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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