Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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