And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
