This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
