butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
