I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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