I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize