some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
