he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
