You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i think i just lost a toe
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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