my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
