Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
