I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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