hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
