chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
