he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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